looking back to the past just brings up, "what it's" that shouldn't even have been in mind.

and i had to find that out the hard way.

girls, never snoop through your boyfriend's old messages, and comments. i always do this. i did it to jerome's old myspace when we were still dating. when jamie and i were dating, i looked through a bunch of his old stuff too. jacob should be glad that he just made his. and yeah.. i was recently looking through aj's. yeah, he's probably reading this right now. thinking im hella nosey. But, honestly... i dont wanna be one of "them". i only read those past messages to see what he has ever said to any of the girls from his past. and compare that to what him and i do/are going to have. kirsten and i had this talk when i was going out with jerome. i tried my best to not be one of them. and yes, i've succeeded. i'm the one who actually lasted the longest and the one who broke up with him. he's broken up with all of them. i taught him a lesson.
And in this relationship that i'm currently in, with alejandro. im going to try my best to be different, to be someone special, to not be one of those girls who didn't last long. or one of those girls he had to say "i love you" to not lose, or cos he felt he had to. and that, is my goal. simple. i want us to last long. i want him to think of me differently. i want to be someone special, who'll make a big impact on his life in a positive way. i want him to say "i love you" when he means it from the bottom of his heart. and not, cos he has to. this here.. is all i want.