is it me, or am i just falling a bit too hard?

as i space out during the test in math, i find myself reminiscing about the past and daydreaming about the future. im glad that i am now with someone who'll try his best to make me happy. i dont regret anything that i've done in the past. they were mistakes, but hey.. just another lesson learned, right? mhm. as i thought about all the guys from my past, i just couldn't seem to figure out how this whole thing with aj was even possible. seems like, it wasn't that long ago that we were both in separate worlds... him in love with one of my close friends, and i crushing on an older guy who i knew i'd never get a chance with. -that may have been monthS ago, but to me.. it seems like it was only yesterday. Michael announced, "Finally!" ...yeah. my goodness, i miss my past like hell. i mean, dont take me wrong. im starting to love my life, now. but, i'd love to re-live my past. OKAY, so as i was taking a walk ; i was thinking how WHY i think my life is so bad compared to before. honestly, it's not. my friends are coming back to me, im finally with someone who makes me happy, im closer to my siblings than ever before. i guess, it's only BAD cos i've never thought this hard about how my life is. i have no dad, i don't communicate with half of my family, i cause too much trouble for my mom, my grades are low, i dont pay attention in class.. for some reason, bad thoughts just keep popping up at times, when im starting to enjoy what i have.